What is going on?

It's been a while, alot of things have happened and infact I am unsure of my present situation...Wow Im overwhelmed but Im not complaining. God has been good and Im feeling no guilt.I dont want to hurt anyone and so this is what makes it even more harder. what is important for now is to wait awhile and see wether my concerns are relevant. but no matter what, in as much as i created the problem myself, I know I am the only one that can be the solution. I know its weird but im ready to die, not in any physical manner but just to give myself up for the greater good. there is no place for anger, regret or denial, just hope of a new life.
The SUn is still shinning you know. and I can still enjoy that scope of ice cream. It aint the end of the world just yet.what in the world is going on, could this be? I hope not, God I pray not.