Monday, August 1, 2016
Friday, August 6, 2010
What is going on?
It's been a while, alot of things have happened and infact I am unsure of my present situation...Wow Im overwhelmed but Im not complaining. God has been good and Im feeling no guilt.I dont want to hurt anyone and so this is what makes it even more harder. what is important for now is to wait awhile and see wether my concerns are relevant. but no matter what, in as much as i created the problem myself, I know I am the only one that can be the solution. I know its weird but im ready to die, not in any physical manner but just to give myself up for the greater good. there is no place for anger, regret or denial, just hope of a new life.
The SUn is still shinning you know. and I can still enjoy that scope of ice cream. It aint the end of the world just yet.what in the world is going on, could this be? I hope not, God I pray not.
The SUn is still shinning you know. and I can still enjoy that scope of ice cream. It aint the end of the world just yet.what in the world is going on, could this be? I hope not, God I pray not.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I have a way of contradicting myself.how? procrastination. i leave things that need to be done until the last minute, until it hurts.
Storms of life rush to my direction
i find myself hanging on tide to my very soul, clinching with all my might
I cannot let go, even if it hurts
thought my bright green lights were dissapearing
something within me wont let the light fade away
It sings a song of inner emancipation, songs of a better tomorrow
I gotta do it anyway
the passion will not die, amist confusion and pain
it still rages like fire
faith still triumph over misery and pain
Storms of life rush to my direction
i find myself hanging on tide to my very soul, clinching with all my might
I cannot let go, even if it hurts
thought my bright green lights were dissapearing
something within me wont let the light fade away
It sings a song of inner emancipation, songs of a better tomorrow
I gotta do it anyway
the passion will not die, amist confusion and pain
it still rages like fire
faith still triumph over misery and pain
We fall down,we get up.we face sorrow and we face pain but yet we rise.Its been a while since i expressed any kind of feeling through writing but here i go.
Im still running, after all this time im still running. i sometimes wonder what keeps me going, is it my family, my siblings or is it simple the strength and grace from above.I have had my share of heartache and tribulation, i have made great mistakes in my life but after its all said and done his grace has been sufficient for me.TIME for introspection, who am i? HUMAN
Im still running, after all this time im still running. i sometimes wonder what keeps me going, is it my family, my siblings or is it simple the strength and grace from above.I have had my share of heartache and tribulation, i have made great mistakes in my life but after its all said and done his grace has been sufficient for me.TIME for introspection, who am i? HUMAN
Friday, November 21, 2008
Warning !!
Life is full of alot of pieces and you gotta solve the puzzle to get the entire picture.So the question is how large is the puzzle actually and most importantly how do you know that all the pieces are actually in place without been confused yourself.I would like to think that life consists of deja-vu experiences or events in a sense that most of the time there is some sort of warning before an actual event happens.some warning from God that we sometimes ignore,most of the time.imagine this:yesterday i got into the wrong taxi and basically i felt strange about it,there were no familiar faces and the taxi looked too messed up than usual but i drove off with it anyway,not that there was no signs but my mind was too busy wondering to notice the signs.Great isnt it!truth of the matter is nothing just happens without either a purpose or an extreme warning.So even if something is not linked to us there are always warning signals,sometimes the mind gets so consumed with its own business that it misses the signs or we just choose to totally ignore the signs.Im reading a very significant book that only gives witness to something i read only yesterday,now tell me if that is not profound or what.Now i gotta figure out how i will change my life and open my eyes before its too late.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
ITS ALL COMING BACK ;-)
I resently hooked up with an old friend of mine after two years of not seeing each other,you can imagine how unpleasant the separation was,i mean yes i was to blame as much as he was yet i kinda found it hard to give this dude a second chance but i did.Just when i thought i had it all figure out something like this happens and it changes almost everything i thought i knew.right now i am a few miles from my mountain top and yet the view from where i am standing seems to be getting clearer and clearer.I know what ought to be done and with the help of God it seems it is been done........to be continued
Friday, October 17, 2008
running 100 miles and hour in the wrong direction.It seems everytime you try to tell such a person about the matter all you get is rejection and stigmatization.Should the gospel still be preached?rephrase,should the gospel be preached the same way it has been preached for decades?are will still trying to get people to believe in church docrine or should we rather concentrate on the kingdom issue.It seems we have taught people that all they have to do to be saved is to come to church and so whatever way they may live thier lives will be acceptable to God just as long as they come to church on Sunday.We have traditionalised the Gospel and distorded it to a point where it has lost its true meaning.the word religion has caused it to look like any other faith and hence we have masses of christians who have no relationship with the master but a religion.When did Jesus ever preach of church denominations?Jesus's goal on earth was to teach about the Kingdom of heaven and hence he would rather we live a life of rightousness and love.a Mega church build in a squada camp means nothing if we cannot reach out to the people surrounding the church.We may gather in this churches and praise but it means nothing if we cant reach out to orphanages and the widow and the disadvantaged.Paul said and now i will show you a more perfect way,If i can speak with toungues but have no love i am nothing...truth of the matter is love is the bases of our faith and not human love but we are instructed to have more Godly love,love based on the fact that God loved you first.It is ok to gather and meet in our churches for three hours then go home.It edifies the church and all but what about the kingdom of God on earth..................
writing v doing.
And if i have infinite knowledge and able to change mindsets of kings because of my writing but have no love i am nothing.If i have the ability to utter words that can blow masses away and philosophies not yet known but have no love i say nothing.If i claim i understand psychology and the human mind itself and i am unable to love i have done nothing,I have gained nothing.If i haved reached a level of execellence in my writing but continue to cause people to crumble,slowly fading because of a single word i utter i am nothing but a fool.guard your words,guard your heart.be careful where you go.People dont crumble in a day.I'm tired of the pen and paper if i cannot be what i preach....
Friday, October 3, 2008
thoughts on a friday afternoon..
trying to make sense of it all.Im tired of asking who i am because God knows i know who i am.the question is how do i go from knowing how i am and been who i am.I'm stuck at this place and
i know i got to get out.I feel that im holding on by a thread that is about to break and lord knows i want to let go.I got to ascend to the ground.Got to go down so i may be lifted up.I need a miracle.I need God to move on my behalf and it dont matter the sacrifice,thats why im sacrificing even myself.Been told that his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are bigger than my thoughts,i want to function in this divine mystery.dont care who says what anymore i know this is the generation of those who seek your face oh Jacob..haha so next time you see my heard stuck in scripture im just trying to draw nearer to my saviour cause this world has nothing for me.
I know now that sometimes strength is made perfect in weakness,so i gotta comprehend that he blesses you while you are living in a tent like he blessed israels children.He told them to stretch thier tents because God wants people to move,and if he got to bless you while you are moving he will do just that.but you got to obey even onto death.After +_ 6000 years my God stil got it under control,afterall he created the universe and rules over it and still counts my hair..Glory.
i know i got to get out.I feel that im holding on by a thread that is about to break and lord knows i want to let go.I got to ascend to the ground.Got to go down so i may be lifted up.I need a miracle.I need God to move on my behalf and it dont matter the sacrifice,thats why im sacrificing even myself.Been told that his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are bigger than my thoughts,i want to function in this divine mystery.dont care who says what anymore i know this is the generation of those who seek your face oh Jacob..haha so next time you see my heard stuck in scripture im just trying to draw nearer to my saviour cause this world has nothing for me.
I know now that sometimes strength is made perfect in weakness,so i gotta comprehend that he blesses you while you are living in a tent like he blessed israels children.He told them to stretch thier tents because God wants people to move,and if he got to bless you while you are moving he will do just that.but you got to obey even onto death.After +_ 6000 years my God stil got it under control,afterall he created the universe and rules over it and still counts my hair..Glory.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
BY THE RIVER SIDE
Didn’t understand what he was doing
until I was walking on the water.
Not so long ago all I could hear was the sound
of the waves telling me it couldn’t be done.
and so I found myself falling, my flesh been eating away.
where was my potter when I needed him.
Thought religion could be my surf board,
Church could be my Ark.
Until I was drowning in ignorance,
blinded by the worries of life.I knew I was dying
but didn’t know why.
I’ve been standing on the riverside waiting for my turn.
But each time another got touched but me.
Now a man uses mud and spit and tells me to go
Didn’t understand what he was doing
Until I realized I was walking on the water, with
His spirit underneath my feet.
until I was walking on the water.
Not so long ago all I could hear was the sound
of the waves telling me it couldn’t be done.
and so I found myself falling, my flesh been eating away.
where was my potter when I needed him.
Thought religion could be my surf board,
Church could be my Ark.
Until I was drowning in ignorance,
blinded by the worries of life.I knew I was dying
but didn’t know why.
I’ve been standing on the riverside waiting for my turn.
But each time another got touched but me.
Now a man uses mud and spit and tells me to go
Didn’t understand what he was doing
Until I realized I was walking on the water, with
His spirit underneath my feet.
IT HAS BEGUN
A silent Bang can be heard as the echo’s of prophetic messages of the past collide.
A battle of ages is on, the kingdom been taken by force.
It has begun.
Rivers of living water flow from bellies of young daughters.
This is the days of Elijah,
I see the Glory that was on Moses now in earthly vessels.
The message is now simplified, “whoever will let him come”.
They told her one day her feet would leave the ground,
She couldn’t comprehend until she started floating.
Now her feet will not touch the ground.
Do it again Lord, her heart cries out.
The End comes accompanied by a beginning.
Let it be.
A battle of ages is on, the kingdom been taken by force.
It has begun.
Rivers of living water flow from bellies of young daughters.
This is the days of Elijah,
I see the Glory that was on Moses now in earthly vessels.
The message is now simplified, “whoever will let him come”.
They told her one day her feet would leave the ground,
She couldn’t comprehend until she started floating.
Now her feet will not touch the ground.
Do it again Lord, her heart cries out.
The End comes accompanied by a beginning.
Let it be.
Making sense of it all....
Its been said over and over again to me that everything happens for a reason. I hang on to those words. each and everyday, though im drowning in this sea of uncertainty. I hang on to the fact that nothing just happens. Sometimes I just wake up and wish it would all go away, I wish the very life in me would just go away. So everyday I wake up and have convince my spirit that everything will be ok. I have dreams. I have always been a dreamer, and I guess that is what kills me the most. When I was a kid I used to have this whole other world in my head, a fairytale world where every story ended with “and they lived happily ever after”. I’m still waiting for my miracle. Don’t misunderstand me and think im lonely and sad because I am not. I’m very content ,it’s just that its hard to pray everyday for a miracle and God says nothing or you hear nothing. and so you wait and you wait and you wait. until months and years pass by. I beginning to think that maybe God those speak,I just ignore him so much because what he is saying may be contrary to what I want to hear.I believe in Angels but I believe in the Holy Spirit most.i just cannot get to the point were I’m able to recognize God’s voice in my life. So here I am again wondering, trying to make sense of it all, basically trying to find one thing that makes it all worth it…..
I’m wondering what the world is thinking, what are people thinking? What is the homeless man on the street thinking? What is the richest man in the world thinking? Mostly what is that little child without food thinking? That little girl who has just been raped, that crippled young boy who is told he will never walk again. This thoughts give my life meaning, because I want to get into each and everyone of this people’s minds and try to understand how each of them think. I don’t really know why but everytime I have figured out how someone thinks I have this overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be ok. I feel fulfilled. Maybe God is trying to get me involved some how .but I feel there is life there. I feel there is this river of fulfillment flowing and I want to swim in it.
I woke up this morning and I just broke down and cried .I was trying to pray yet I couldn’t, all I could think about was one thing “God can you see me”. So here I am trying to figure out my next move thou the bible told me a few hours ago not to worry about tomorrow. If God were to tell me to go out of my own country would I listen? if he told me to kill the only thing I love would I do it? I don’t know really yet this is what Abraham did. He listened to God and was willing to do everything God told him to do because he believed him. he believed that even if God wanted him to sacrifice his only son he would be able to raise the son from the dead. He was a friend of God because he Believed, why then cant we have the same faith. Why cant we believe God so much that we would lose anything and everything at his command knowing that his ways are higher than our ways. If God were to tell me to leave everything behind and go to a land he would show me (not even mention the name of the country!), just told me to pack my bags and begin to walk. Would I go? Yet we claim Abraham’s blessings are ours. So where do I go from here…girl do you know any Christian youth groups that discuss this kind of questions?
I’m wondering what the world is thinking, what are people thinking? What is the homeless man on the street thinking? What is the richest man in the world thinking? Mostly what is that little child without food thinking? That little girl who has just been raped, that crippled young boy who is told he will never walk again. This thoughts give my life meaning, because I want to get into each and everyone of this people’s minds and try to understand how each of them think. I don’t really know why but everytime I have figured out how someone thinks I have this overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be ok. I feel fulfilled. Maybe God is trying to get me involved some how .but I feel there is life there. I feel there is this river of fulfillment flowing and I want to swim in it.
I woke up this morning and I just broke down and cried .I was trying to pray yet I couldn’t, all I could think about was one thing “God can you see me”. So here I am trying to figure out my next move thou the bible told me a few hours ago not to worry about tomorrow. If God were to tell me to go out of my own country would I listen? if he told me to kill the only thing I love would I do it? I don’t know really yet this is what Abraham did. He listened to God and was willing to do everything God told him to do because he believed him. he believed that even if God wanted him to sacrifice his only son he would be able to raise the son from the dead. He was a friend of God because he Believed, why then cant we have the same faith. Why cant we believe God so much that we would lose anything and everything at his command knowing that his ways are higher than our ways. If God were to tell me to leave everything behind and go to a land he would show me (not even mention the name of the country!), just told me to pack my bags and begin to walk. Would I go? Yet we claim Abraham’s blessings are ours. So where do I go from here…girl do you know any Christian youth groups that discuss this kind of questions?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Mind weighed down by matter
still wondering if the silent universe can be measured
or if the Earth is really Round.
My subconscious Occupers the Space within.
Silence speaks in the shadows of who i am.
trying to wrestling this Need within me,
i need a fix that Cocaine cannot satisfy,
a longing for more than this,now.
I hear them.their SOuls Afraid to Speak of God.
Afraid of that name of Jesus.
Any greater power but God..they beg.
They are the living dead.
Scared of what others mite think of them
I am them.
the world hates the saints.Its a reminder of what life could be.
the World hates what it cannot understand.
still wondering if the silent universe can be measured
or if the Earth is really Round.
My subconscious Occupers the Space within.
Silence speaks in the shadows of who i am.
trying to wrestling this Need within me,
i need a fix that Cocaine cannot satisfy,
a longing for more than this,now.
I hear them.their SOuls Afraid to Speak of God.
Afraid of that name of Jesus.
Any greater power but God..they beg.
They are the living dead.
Scared of what others mite think of them
I am them.
the world hates the saints.Its a reminder of what life could be.
the World hates what it cannot understand.
Friday, July 11, 2008
CAN I WALK WITH YOU?
Im lost in my own tranquilizing Imagination.
A world far greater,a new earth.
A being eternal,greater than Adam himself;
i long to walk with God.
All that has been and will be,all man has ever known,
life itself is meaningless if i cannot walk with God
Myths arise and fall.strongholds broughtdown in time.
Warriors are born and yet face the same fate as the weak.
and so life has but one meaning;meaningless.
Untill man walks with God again.
This is My greatest desire,let me be lost in the Spirit of Jehovah.
Let me be consumed with his fire.
thou i have seen Zion,My mortality is not worthy to stand on the Mountain of God.
So i will rise and be lost in him.
For as i Dissapear I receive life.
for what is will soon pass away,but he will remain..and i in him.
A world far greater,a new earth.
A being eternal,greater than Adam himself;
i long to walk with God.
All that has been and will be,all man has ever known,
life itself is meaningless if i cannot walk with God
Myths arise and fall.strongholds broughtdown in time.
Warriors are born and yet face the same fate as the weak.
and so life has but one meaning;meaningless.
Untill man walks with God again.
This is My greatest desire,let me be lost in the Spirit of Jehovah.
Let me be consumed with his fire.
thou i have seen Zion,My mortality is not worthy to stand on the Mountain of God.
So i will rise and be lost in him.
For as i Dissapear I receive life.
for what is will soon pass away,but he will remain..and i in him.
ROADS
Roads
Three roads lie ahead, thou the middle road is but an uncertainty
with a great possibility of leading me to the other two.
All my life I have avoided this Question, which road should I take?
So I keep coming back to this very point each time I don’t choose.
Now I’m exhausted of the Cycle, the great deijavo of life ,I must decide.
for years go by, yet history repeats itself until I’m no more.
This curse has to be broken.
Thou I know the narrow road leads to a higher place , it shakens me
Because of its extremity for it calls me to a life of great sacrifice.
Many have tried it and found greatness. Many
Tought they has found it yet where far from it, the road less taken.
The middle road however is comfortable to many. Its genre is classical,
the best of both worlds. It could be just an illusion but many are on it.
Was this the road God warned us about?
The order road? Eat, drink and be marry for tomorrow we die!
Three roads lie ahead, thou the middle road is but an uncertainty
with a great possibility of leading me to the other two.
All my life I have avoided this Question, which road should I take?
So I keep coming back to this very point each time I don’t choose.
Now I’m exhausted of the Cycle, the great deijavo of life ,I must decide.
for years go by, yet history repeats itself until I’m no more.
This curse has to be broken.
Thou I know the narrow road leads to a higher place , it shakens me
Because of its extremity for it calls me to a life of great sacrifice.
Many have tried it and found greatness. Many
Tought they has found it yet where far from it, the road less taken.
The middle road however is comfortable to many. Its genre is classical,
the best of both worlds. It could be just an illusion but many are on it.
Was this the road God warned us about?
The order road? Eat, drink and be marry for tomorrow we die!
Monday, June 9, 2008
issues
You know the truth. what do you see?
Time has frozen
Lost in the darkest of nights
About to explode into a million bloody pieces
The world is surrounded by a fog of confusion
Born into a meaningless world
That seems to grow older and older and is about to die.
Behold the setting of the sun,the passing away of all things.
Mourn for you children,oh ye nations.
Surrounded by multitudes of the people who
Do not see what you see
You option? Numb the vision, be like them
Replace dreadlocks with wigs
The lords prayer with meaningless proverbs
Drink and be merry.
So you wonder in the darkness like the rest of them
Dying with every breath you take
You wonder why you are suffocating
The truth hunts you.
You shall know the truth…your option?
numb the vision.
Behold the coming of the son.
Time has frozen
Lost in the darkest of nights
About to explode into a million bloody pieces
The world is surrounded by a fog of confusion
Born into a meaningless world
That seems to grow older and older and is about to die.
Behold the setting of the sun,the passing away of all things.
Mourn for you children,oh ye nations.
Surrounded by multitudes of the people who
Do not see what you see
You option? Numb the vision, be like them
Replace dreadlocks with wigs
The lords prayer with meaningless proverbs
Drink and be merry.
So you wonder in the darkness like the rest of them
Dying with every breath you take
You wonder why you are suffocating
The truth hunts you.
You shall know the truth…your option?
numb the vision.
Behold the coming of the son.
Friday, June 6, 2008
melodrama
A poem i wrote trying to explain what i think about love..love is ...GODLY..therefore unconditional...all else just plain old infactuation...drama
Its ecstasy
I go so high I touch the moon.
Head over hills. A flood of emotions
Riding a wave of mind-blowing fantasy
I seem to drown, then I’m floating.
Then back again to get a fix.
Words of utter complicity flows
I’m wrapped around, in slaved by it
Beauty defined, pure perfection.
Back to the garden of Eden when
woman knew man.
I cannot be quenched.
Meaning of life. Could it be?
That it is this, this sea of emotions.
Could it be that
You have defined love?
This overwhelming sensation. ooh!
Time is strange .for like water it washes
away misconceptions.
When fantasy turns to be reality
When your feet touches the ground
When Eve is not perfect
When Adam is human
What remains after the shaken?
Could this be love?
Palesa Leshoedi
Its ecstasy
I go so high I touch the moon.
Head over hills. A flood of emotions
Riding a wave of mind-blowing fantasy
I seem to drown, then I’m floating.
Then back again to get a fix.
Words of utter complicity flows
I’m wrapped around, in slaved by it
Beauty defined, pure perfection.
Back to the garden of Eden when
woman knew man.
I cannot be quenched.
Meaning of life. Could it be?
That it is this, this sea of emotions.
Could it be that
You have defined love?
This overwhelming sensation. ooh!
Time is strange .for like water it washes
away misconceptions.
When fantasy turns to be reality
When your feet touches the ground
When Eve is not perfect
When Adam is human
What remains after the shaken?
Could this be love?
Palesa Leshoedi
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Step Out
So they say who are you?
Who are you to want to be different?
To strive for self-realization when the notions
Of the world has placed a tag on what it is to be Great.
So they say who are you?
Who are you to step out of the gutter that has inslaved
The human race for decades. that has caused men and
Women with great capacity to die empty unquenched life’s
who are you to loosing the shackles that limits your soul
From sowing beyond the limitations of the sky.
To reach for infinity.
Who are you to sing with are rhythm unfamiliar to the average mind?
Who are you to be silent when fools speak?
Who are you to speak when Silence echo’s?
My brothers and sisters, we are who we are.
Made in the form of the almighty, made not to fit
In , made not to be what others are.
Too profound for fakeness.
We are.
Who are you to want to be different?
To strive for self-realization when the notions
Of the world has placed a tag on what it is to be Great.
So they say who are you?
Who are you to step out of the gutter that has inslaved
The human race for decades. that has caused men and
Women with great capacity to die empty unquenched life’s
who are you to loosing the shackles that limits your soul
From sowing beyond the limitations of the sky.
To reach for infinity.
Who are you to sing with are rhythm unfamiliar to the average mind?
Who are you to be silent when fools speak?
Who are you to speak when Silence echo’s?
My brothers and sisters, we are who we are.
Made in the form of the almighty, made not to fit
In , made not to be what others are.
Too profound for fakeness.
We are.
Monday, May 5, 2008
FEAR
In our everyday struggles each of us has to fight with our own insecurities.No matter how strong we claim to be sometimes we feel alittle weak and its at this times that our character is really tested.i wrote something trying to explain my own fears.Its not really a poem.I'd say its my thoughts.
It creeps on you like the setting of the sun
wrestles with you subconciously
It feeds on your insecurities,you troubles,sorrows
and worries
Its master,it source is called the unknown
It roars mightly as if to devour us,yet its a serpent
without Neurotoxic venom.
We feed it,I feed it.without this its powerless
this battle is mine to fight.
Heart beats as if to sing a new song
strangely a foreign sensation goes through my stomach
legs trample weakly in agony
shoulders weight down by the world
trapped in a tight place
like an atom in an infinite yet strangely hallow universe
Wandering like the prodigal son,in desperate longing for more
my soul longs to be set free,to soar freely
yet the horizon is pitch black to my mortal eyes
Panic sets in.will i ever find the promise land.
let go....let go.softly i know i have to surrender
for this battle is not mine
fear yet not so mighty torments the heart,i have to let go
thou my eyes be blinded by mortality
yet a far greater being,God almighty hold in his hands infite truth
for he is truth.
his will be done.
It creeps on you like the setting of the sun
wrestles with you subconciously
It feeds on your insecurities,you troubles,sorrows
and worries
Its master,it source is called the unknown
It roars mightly as if to devour us,yet its a serpent
without Neurotoxic venom.
We feed it,I feed it.without this its powerless
this battle is mine to fight.
Heart beats as if to sing a new song
strangely a foreign sensation goes through my stomach
legs trample weakly in agony
shoulders weight down by the world
trapped in a tight place
like an atom in an infinite yet strangely hallow universe
Wandering like the prodigal son,in desperate longing for more
my soul longs to be set free,to soar freely
yet the horizon is pitch black to my mortal eyes
Panic sets in.will i ever find the promise land.
let go....let go.softly i know i have to surrender
for this battle is not mine
fear yet not so mighty torments the heart,i have to let go
thou my eyes be blinded by mortality
yet a far greater being,God almighty hold in his hands infite truth
for he is truth.
his will be done.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Distorted Realities
I like this poem alot..I wrote it explaining or basically trying to explain the battle each one of us has with ouselves..and the fact that some people have actually lost their own identity in this struggle.
Distorted Realities
The illusion will not go away
Like a never ending dream it haunts
Distorts reality
Lost In what is real and what is not.
The mind in Constant battle
Notions fighting truth,
Ideals fighting reality;
All in search for but one great answer.
Too wide to contemplate
Too deep to comprehend
Too profound to consider
The battle continues
The loud hammering noises causes brilliant
Suffering of the soul.
All the commotions of the universe
Brings about confusion.
The human spirit not brave enough to elute
The mask that so tightly creeps self.
Causing it to bleed, scared to nourish the still
Voice telling it to escape.
Death prevails
Who am I?
Distorted Realities
The illusion will not go away
Like a never ending dream it haunts
Distorts reality
Lost In what is real and what is not.
The mind in Constant battle
Notions fighting truth,
Ideals fighting reality;
All in search for but one great answer.
Too wide to contemplate
Too deep to comprehend
Too profound to consider
The battle continues
The loud hammering noises causes brilliant
Suffering of the soul.
All the commotions of the universe
Brings about confusion.
The human spirit not brave enough to elute
The mask that so tightly creeps self.
Causing it to bleed, scared to nourish the still
Voice telling it to escape.
Death prevails
Who am I?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I stand
i wrote this poem trying to basically find meaning to who i am.this is what i came up with,I also got some inspiration from a very amazing woman who inspired me to do what i love..write.
Stand
She stands alone in a world full of companions.
In a word full of pairs she stands unshaken.
embracing the circumstances burdened
on her by the almighty.
My solitude
My birthchild
I stand alone and feel complete.
the life that chose me,The life i have chosen
I hear the almighty in solitude and feel mesmerised
hypnotised by the loneliness that frightens so many.
The world misinterpret completion
causing havoc to millions of souls.
The world defines completeness;
a state of been with another.
Her soul begging to differ with such misconception
She feels complete standing alone.
She stands complete.
Silence speaks
with an unkown,unheard tone
in the wind it speaks.
in the rain it speaks.
It speaks when i pause to listen.
It is the voice within me,the voice of me.
the voice comforts me,heals me.
In the silence i am reborn,
It is in the silence that i am made strong
In the silence I speak
Should i then be afraid of my own soul?
Hide from the voice within?
Should i be lost in the masses?
Lost in the preconceived notions of the world.
This is who i am,I stand alone.
not lonely,but alone in solitude
fulfilled by the silence of it all.
Palesa
Stand
She stands alone in a world full of companions.
In a word full of pairs she stands unshaken.
embracing the circumstances burdened
on her by the almighty.
My solitude
My birthchild
I stand alone and feel complete.
the life that chose me,The life i have chosen
I hear the almighty in solitude and feel mesmerised
hypnotised by the loneliness that frightens so many.
The world misinterpret completion
causing havoc to millions of souls.
The world defines completeness;
a state of been with another.
Her soul begging to differ with such misconception
She feels complete standing alone.
She stands complete.
Silence speaks
with an unkown,unheard tone
in the wind it speaks.
in the rain it speaks.
It speaks when i pause to listen.
It is the voice within me,the voice of me.
the voice comforts me,heals me.
In the silence i am reborn,
It is in the silence that i am made strong
In the silence I speak
Should i then be afraid of my own soul?
Hide from the voice within?
Should i be lost in the masses?
Lost in the preconceived notions of the world.
This is who i am,I stand alone.
not lonely,but alone in solitude
fulfilled by the silence of it all.
Palesa
Friday, March 7, 2008
NO GREATER LOVE
I’ve realized one thing. The will of God will never lead you astray. Everytime we tend to do our own thing and decide to go our way we mess things up cause honestly we are nothing without God and his will in our lives.
A wise man once said on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is seeking sand. I have realized that truly all other ground is seeking sand that’s why I will stand on this solid rock. We fall down but we get up….. I don’t know how many times I’ve falling and how many times I’ve gotten back up again.
Thank God its not in the falling down but its in the getting up again that our faith is truly tested and thank God for when its all said and done there is therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, those who live not according to the flesh but according to the spirit.
When I think about what God has done for me and my family I can only give him all the glory. He has been a friend ,he has lifted in up ,he has loved me when I was unlovable ,there is not greater Love then the love of God. Without him in my life I’m empty. I’m nothing. Nothing comes closer to knowing Jesus , Nothing can surely separate
Me from the love of God. He is the reason I am. The reason I breath , I’m desperate for his touch , I’m desperate for him. No eye has seen nor ear has heard nor has it entered in the mind of men what the lord had prepared but by his spirit he has revealed his plan to those who love him. We’ve been kept by his ever lasting love, held with loving kindness by his hand. We have hope for the future yet to come, in time we will understand the mystery of his plan.
Our God never slumbers nor sleeps .if we remain in him he will remain in us. My prayer is that I may dwell in the shadow of the most high for eternity ..there is nothing as great as knowing God.
A wise man once said on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is seeking sand. I have realized that truly all other ground is seeking sand that’s why I will stand on this solid rock. We fall down but we get up….. I don’t know how many times I’ve falling and how many times I’ve gotten back up again.
Thank God its not in the falling down but its in the getting up again that our faith is truly tested and thank God for when its all said and done there is therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus, those who live not according to the flesh but according to the spirit.
When I think about what God has done for me and my family I can only give him all the glory. He has been a friend ,he has lifted in up ,he has loved me when I was unlovable ,there is not greater Love then the love of God. Without him in my life I’m empty. I’m nothing. Nothing comes closer to knowing Jesus , Nothing can surely separate
Me from the love of God. He is the reason I am. The reason I breath , I’m desperate for his touch , I’m desperate for him. No eye has seen nor ear has heard nor has it entered in the mind of men what the lord had prepared but by his spirit he has revealed his plan to those who love him. We’ve been kept by his ever lasting love, held with loving kindness by his hand. We have hope for the future yet to come, in time we will understand the mystery of his plan.
Our God never slumbers nor sleeps .if we remain in him he will remain in us. My prayer is that I may dwell in the shadow of the most high for eternity ..there is nothing as great as knowing God.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pretty deep!! or should i say;" what a guy"
Please take a moment and read this. This article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a White woman who requested a response from Black men. I'm sure some of you have read it before,I personally love it. enjoy:
Dear Jamie:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.
If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public.. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia, with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women.
Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women.
And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woma n that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that youranger is really a result of you wanting to havewhat the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
Dear Jamie:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.
If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public.. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE
Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia, with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women.
Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women.
And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woma n that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that youranger is really a result of you wanting to havewhat the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty
Thursday, February 7, 2008
we are all God's people
We are definitely leaving in a sick world, No body wants to give others a chance anymore, we have become so judgmental and so self-centered its not even funny. Why don’t we try to walk in peoples shoes before we scrutinize everything about everybody. Looks ,background , colour whatever don’t mean nothing honestly I have found the most amazing people in life are those who don’t fit into our idea of perfection.
I meet a Girl who was very quite, shy and down to earth. I always wondered why she was so quite, I could see and here she was not South African but then I decided to get to know her and my word was I amazed at the kind of personality she had. She was intense, rooted and very humble, the kind of personality that nuns are blessed with. I loved been around her and because we shared a common faith I began to like her, we grow very close as I couldn’t really relate to my friends about my faith the way I did with her. She was unhappy thou ,very discriminated against by almost everyone .People wanted her to go back to where she came from. They never gave her a chance never truly understood. She didn’t really want to be here but was here and she didn’t even plan to stay here for long. I resented that .We lost contact but I can still remember her when I hear people make comments about people not form south Africa, they are human why don’t we give each other a chance .the world would be such a better place. We all humans and we all want to be free to be. Give people a chance and you will be amazed
I meet a Girl who was very quite, shy and down to earth. I always wondered why she was so quite, I could see and here she was not South African but then I decided to get to know her and my word was I amazed at the kind of personality she had. She was intense, rooted and very humble, the kind of personality that nuns are blessed with. I loved been around her and because we shared a common faith I began to like her, we grow very close as I couldn’t really relate to my friends about my faith the way I did with her. She was unhappy thou ,very discriminated against by almost everyone .People wanted her to go back to where she came from. They never gave her a chance never truly understood. She didn’t really want to be here but was here and she didn’t even plan to stay here for long. I resented that .We lost contact but I can still remember her when I hear people make comments about people not form south Africa, they are human why don’t we give each other a chance .the world would be such a better place. We all humans and we all want to be free to be. Give people a chance and you will be amazed
Thursday, January 31, 2008
He gives and Takes away
Im having such a stressful time at work.This intern is getting to much,My first and foremost goal now is school,get a tranfer to cambridge University,get my MBA and build my career as a business woman.
Today i had to make a very difficult decision about my life and i only hope it was the rite one,lord knows the decision i took was based on the word of God otherwise i would not have made it.
All things work together for the Good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose (romans 8 v28).I love that verse,infact i love the intire romans 8.I have to hold on to that verse no matter what.I have to believe with all my heart that everything will work out.
One of the most remarkable thing i have ever head in my life was what Job sad when he was down and out;"he gives and takes away"-blessed be the name of my lord even when the darkness closes in more my heart will always chose to say blessed be his name.
I dont like to share my life details but i need to say this.In my final year of high school something terrible happened,I lost my best friend of about 10 years.I was out of my mind.I never really understood jobs pain until that happened.I remember ho difficult it was for me to say those words "he gives and takes away". there was a song that i feel inlove with during that time of my life n=by the barlowgirls called never alone.anyway from all that i stil found refuge in God and i knew just like Job my redemeer Lives .
Today i had to make a very difficult decision about my life and i only hope it was the rite one,lord knows the decision i took was based on the word of God otherwise i would not have made it.
All things work together for the Good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose (romans 8 v28).I love that verse,infact i love the intire romans 8.I have to hold on to that verse no matter what.I have to believe with all my heart that everything will work out.
One of the most remarkable thing i have ever head in my life was what Job sad when he was down and out;"he gives and takes away"-blessed be the name of my lord even when the darkness closes in more my heart will always chose to say blessed be his name.
I dont like to share my life details but i need to say this.In my final year of high school something terrible happened,I lost my best friend of about 10 years.I was out of my mind.I never really understood jobs pain until that happened.I remember ho difficult it was for me to say those words "he gives and takes away". there was a song that i feel inlove with during that time of my life n=by the barlowgirls called never alone.anyway from all that i stil found refuge in God and i knew just like Job my redemeer Lives .
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